I do this to hear how stupid I sound out loud.
nope! not no more!
i’ve decided (rather arrogantly) that i am a FUCKING CATCH. yeah, maybe i’m vindictive or horrible or moody or sometimes i turn into an emotionless robot or i drink too much and turn into the exact opposite. but you know what? i do all that with a certain undeniable sense of style and you would be hard-pressed to find a more gentlemanly piece of shit.
you know all this, girl. so what you waiting for? some sexist shit where i have to pursue you for god knows how long until you’re sufficiently satisfied that i’m committed 100% to the concept of you? NOPE! NOT NO MORE!
(dear 25 year old andy who suddenly decided to check out his old blog: yes, we was a bitchy little dick back then. not all the time, just enough to seem like an ass. i hope you’re in a better place mentally. might as well enjoy while you’re here though.)
look, girl:
wait, let’s try again. cause you’re not a girl, and you don’t get the get outta jail free card that little girls are entitled to.
LOOK, WOMAN: that got your attention, right? sorry i snapped earlier. i didn’t want to get this worked up. i mean, that’s the point of all this. you’re stressing me out.
no, you’re not. i lied. i’m stressing myself out because of you. so that’s my bad. can we make a deal? let’s neither of us worry anymore. we’ll be ourselves and live our lives and not attach all these years’ worth of importance to every little thing. or just tell me that i’m the worst and you don’t want me around you no more. get it outta the way, you feel?
also, you wanna make out next time we’re together? again, no big important event, just seeing how we like it. i’m good. seriously. i’ve had people who hate my guts admit that i’m a great kisser. word on the streets, yo.
good luck in all your future endeavors.
